Monday, November 01, 2010

My Lame Superpower

If I had to choose a lame superpower, it would likely be the ability to displace inefficient walkers. Like, a simple Darth Vader hand motion to just push them to the side of the road. Clearly this is just a limited form of telekinesis, and the real thing is way better, but that's why it's a lame superpower and not a full-fledged superpower.

Which brings me back to inefficient walkers. Man, I really hate these people. Bear in mind that I have absolutely nothing against slow walkers. I personally enjoy walking slowly, taking in the scenery, digesting lunch, chatting with a friend, whatever. But I am always conscious to not impede the progress of everyone else.

Here are some warning signs that you're an inefficient walker:

* You dart into an opening between people, and then slow down 50%.

* You are holding hands with people on both sides, and the road or path you are walking on is less than 500 meters wide.

* You enter a moving walkway that moves slower than grandma manages with her walker in a boulder field, but you choose to stand directly in the center, thereby allowing no one to pass.

Ah, to be a lame superhero. If only.

What's your lame superpower?

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